tent life, juan, juan and sylvia horseback
Saturday, December 26, 2009
back...
well,
i came home.
long story short, after 5 days of different buses and beds i took a plane from buenos aires to atlanta, then to charlotte where i split a rental car with a guy going back to danville virginia. i didn't tell a soul, surprised my parents, sister, friends in boone, victoria.
why did i come back? because i felt it was time, don't really have a better reason than that. i've learned to trust more in myself, my instincts, and i knew about a month ago that i'd be coming home in december. i've been here for almost two weeks, and it has put me on my ass. really.
i struggle to find my place here, to realize and accept that lives have continued to be lived, that change is a constant, and that i now am home without a job and staying in my parent's basement (a blessing to have that option). trying to come home without expectations, and not telling anyone has put me alone, feeling alone, and only a continuation of the foreign feeling that i've had for the past three months.
it is hard. it is good and beautiful to have people who care and love for me, and to feel that too. but damn it is hard and i'm trying to figure out how to create my life. because that is what i have to do, create something that does not have a plan, and i am realizing that quickly.
i know not what the future holds, and now that feeling of freedom that was so liberating is still here with me, but now it feels more like a noose than a collar, and i am able to talk fluidly but still struggle to communicate. i do not doubt the Lords provision because i have known it so obviously, but it is hard, and i've found it is impossible to have faith without doubt.
i am blessed, i know this too.
thanks for all your prayers and thoughts, i don't suppose i'll be updating this too much at least for a while.
love joshua
i came home.
long story short, after 5 days of different buses and beds i took a plane from buenos aires to atlanta, then to charlotte where i split a rental car with a guy going back to danville virginia. i didn't tell a soul, surprised my parents, sister, friends in boone, victoria.
why did i come back? because i felt it was time, don't really have a better reason than that. i've learned to trust more in myself, my instincts, and i knew about a month ago that i'd be coming home in december. i've been here for almost two weeks, and it has put me on my ass. really.
i struggle to find my place here, to realize and accept that lives have continued to be lived, that change is a constant, and that i now am home without a job and staying in my parent's basement (a blessing to have that option). trying to come home without expectations, and not telling anyone has put me alone, feeling alone, and only a continuation of the foreign feeling that i've had for the past three months.
it is hard. it is good and beautiful to have people who care and love for me, and to feel that too. but damn it is hard and i'm trying to figure out how to create my life. because that is what i have to do, create something that does not have a plan, and i am realizing that quickly.
i know not what the future holds, and now that feeling of freedom that was so liberating is still here with me, but now it feels more like a noose than a collar, and i am able to talk fluidly but still struggle to communicate. i do not doubt the Lords provision because i have known it so obviously, but it is hard, and i've found it is impossible to have faith without doubt.
i am blessed, i know this too.
thanks for all your prayers and thoughts, i don't suppose i'll be updating this too much at least for a while.
love joshua
Thursday, December 10, 2009
una ratita en mendoza
hello from mendoza,
here for a stint, changing my visa among other things. it has been a real transition from the farm in the middle of nowhere chile, to the hustle and bustle that accompanies the life of a city.
long busrides and tired legs have found me in a little hostel outside of downtown.
i have had a lot of time to think, as has been the theme of this trip, to think about many things that seem to present themselves traveling. among the most vivid for me right now is the great contrast that i{ve seen and experienced in place and people, from those that live from week to week on a farm, working the land and simply living with what they have, to the competitive consumption that seems to drive this world and rises most evidently in cities. the difference between lifestyle, motivations, choices, opportunities and lack there of, the reason for this difference and my lack of control.
it is humbling, but also empowering to engage my mind and heart, but realize that i am only a person, a stranger seeing this world through the window of my own eyes. i believe that understanding will come intime, but i know not what understanding is.
juan and sylvia spoke much of living consciously. i think there is a lot of truth in their words and lives.
i am well, and enjoying this change of pace and scenery, if only for a bit.
the lord{s faithfulness is rediculous, and i don{t deserve it, but he continues to bless me as i travel from here to there.
hope all is well with you all, you have my love and prayers
joshua
here for a stint, changing my visa among other things. it has been a real transition from the farm in the middle of nowhere chile, to the hustle and bustle that accompanies the life of a city.
long busrides and tired legs have found me in a little hostel outside of downtown.
i have had a lot of time to think, as has been the theme of this trip, to think about many things that seem to present themselves traveling. among the most vivid for me right now is the great contrast that i{ve seen and experienced in place and people, from those that live from week to week on a farm, working the land and simply living with what they have, to the competitive consumption that seems to drive this world and rises most evidently in cities. the difference between lifestyle, motivations, choices, opportunities and lack there of, the reason for this difference and my lack of control.
it is humbling, but also empowering to engage my mind and heart, but realize that i am only a person, a stranger seeing this world through the window of my own eyes. i believe that understanding will come intime, but i know not what understanding is.
juan and sylvia spoke much of living consciously. i think there is a lot of truth in their words and lives.
i am well, and enjoying this change of pace and scenery, if only for a bit.
the lord{s faithfulness is rediculous, and i don{t deserve it, but he continues to bless me as i travel from here to there.
hope all is well with you all, you have my love and prayers
joshua
Friday, November 27, 2009
all is well
living with a family of three, juan, sylvia and their 4 year old satya.
in the middle of mountains and volcanoes, small farm w- greenhouses, small gardens, pasture, and the likes. working on fences, cutting and hauling firewood down the mountain, transplanting and preparing more soil, cooking with sylvia, learning new dishes and types of bread.
i am blessed to be here with these ppl. sometimes it is trying and i find myself thinking of home, of life as i know it. i have to force myself to stay engaged here, but i know my blessings, and the LOrd´s continual faithfulness, in his protection and provision. i am learning a lot about patience right now. patience with place and people. patience with myself.
all is well, life continues to go on, day by day. i am taking joy in the small things, and the effort i must put into communicating and understanding.
miss you all, happy thanksgiving!
in the middle of mountains and volcanoes, small farm w- greenhouses, small gardens, pasture, and the likes. working on fences, cutting and hauling firewood down the mountain, transplanting and preparing more soil, cooking with sylvia, learning new dishes and types of bread.
i am blessed to be here with these ppl. sometimes it is trying and i find myself thinking of home, of life as i know it. i have to force myself to stay engaged here, but i know my blessings, and the LOrd´s continual faithfulness, in his protection and provision. i am learning a lot about patience right now. patience with place and people. patience with myself.
all is well, life continues to go on, day by day. i am taking joy in the small things, and the effort i must put into communicating and understanding.
miss you all, happy thanksgiving!
Friday, November 13, 2009
al dedo
well, it´s been quite a trip this past week and a half. Tom and i have hitched from Santa Ines all the way down to Temuco, where we currently are spending a couple days. rides in the back of pickup trucks, squished in backseats, beds of vans with music blaring, an old man, several couples, a man selling bread, couple students, and more to count. we have been so blessed in these people as many have told us things to watch for when hitching, and my spanish has been surprisingly good, able to carry conversation for the car rides, ask pretty much what i want, get most of the jokes, interpret some for Tom.
san fernando, curico, linares, past talca, villa alegre, chillan, concepcion, talcahuano, lota, laraquete, cañate, argol, parque nacional nahuelbuta, and now temuco. plus some ground in between. many beautiful places and beautiful ppl. each day seems like a week in itself. it is amazing the contrast in location that can take place in only a few hours, or few days. it is not something that can be reduced to words, and i won´t try to here.
Tom and I have become fast friends, and have realized how rediculous the odds are of finding such good traveling companions on a farm in the middle of nowhere Chile. for me it is an answer to prayers. we are good for each other and i believe are helping each other in a process of life that is important, important for growing and reaching, believing and trusting. it is beautiful and i am blessed to be a part of this.
the future holds another farm next, near Temuco, near a town called Melipueco, with some friends i met on the first farm. nestled between two national parques and volcanoes, i don´t know what to expect but am sure it will be beautiful. i´ll see what comes my way, how long i´ll stay before heading further south.
i also am understanding the importance of relationships back home, their strength and significance in my life, and how much a part of me they are. family, friends, and loved ones, it would be foolish of me to think i could leave that behind in another place. i am very much a part of something special, and i know this more as i am separated from it.
i am well, and continuing this process that will not end when i leave chile, and did not start when i came. it is a process of living and of taking things as they come. letting plans and expectations go as life continues to be. to be and come and go and turn, shake, rattle and roll. choices and control and learning to laugh at myself for being such a stranger in a foreign place. i am humbled everyday. and it goes on...
thanks for your thoughts and prayers, they are felt
-joshua
san fernando, curico, linares, past talca, villa alegre, chillan, concepcion, talcahuano, lota, laraquete, cañate, argol, parque nacional nahuelbuta, and now temuco. plus some ground in between. many beautiful places and beautiful ppl. each day seems like a week in itself. it is amazing the contrast in location that can take place in only a few hours, or few days. it is not something that can be reduced to words, and i won´t try to here.
Tom and I have become fast friends, and have realized how rediculous the odds are of finding such good traveling companions on a farm in the middle of nowhere Chile. for me it is an answer to prayers. we are good for each other and i believe are helping each other in a process of life that is important, important for growing and reaching, believing and trusting. it is beautiful and i am blessed to be a part of this.
the future holds another farm next, near Temuco, near a town called Melipueco, with some friends i met on the first farm. nestled between two national parques and volcanoes, i don´t know what to expect but am sure it will be beautiful. i´ll see what comes my way, how long i´ll stay before heading further south.
i also am understanding the importance of relationships back home, their strength and significance in my life, and how much a part of me they are. family, friends, and loved ones, it would be foolish of me to think i could leave that behind in another place. i am very much a part of something special, and i know this more as i am separated from it.
i am well, and continuing this process that will not end when i leave chile, and did not start when i came. it is a process of living and of taking things as they come. letting plans and expectations go as life continues to be. to be and come and go and turn, shake, rattle and roll. choices and control and learning to laugh at myself for being such a stranger in a foreign place. i am humbled everyday. and it goes on...
thanks for your thoughts and prayers, they are felt
-joshua
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
goin´south
hello to all,
writing from san fernando, a town south of Rancagua. i am hitch hiking south with my friend Tom, another wwoofer i met at the farm. we´re headed towards the same farm south of Concepcion, hoping to make it there by this Friday or Saturday. so far we have had great luck hitching, three rides this morning, and my spanish is better than i thought it would be.
this past week and a half at the farm were the hardest.
i found myself very ready to go, to leave, to change, to move on. i have realized that there are more important things to a place than just the place itself. i found myself in a beautiful atmosphere, excellent food, people who seem to value the same type of life that i do,... but something was lacking. the sense of community that i am used to was not there, not permanently. i don´t know why, but it seems that once you stay in a place long enough to start to know the people and their motivations, how they function and what they value in life, this is when i start to realize my differences.
to truly have something special it takes more than good food and a beautiful place, similar ideas, or the pursuit of adventure. the love that i know from the Lord, and that i feel from other people cannot be replaced or mimmicked, cannot be faked or substituted. i feel like this realization is only on the tip of my tongue, and i am starting to taste its bitterness and sweet flavor.
i am well, and blessed to have a companion on this southward journey. Tom is from England, studies in Canada, and has a dry sense of humor that keeps things rolling.
i left about 25 lbs of stuff at the farm, and feels good to be traveling lighter now. i know more of what i need, what i don´t, and what i want to haul around on my back.
thanks for your thoughts and prayers, the Lord continues to pour his grace on me
-joshua
writing from san fernando, a town south of Rancagua. i am hitch hiking south with my friend Tom, another wwoofer i met at the farm. we´re headed towards the same farm south of Concepcion, hoping to make it there by this Friday or Saturday. so far we have had great luck hitching, three rides this morning, and my spanish is better than i thought it would be.
this past week and a half at the farm were the hardest.
i found myself very ready to go, to leave, to change, to move on. i have realized that there are more important things to a place than just the place itself. i found myself in a beautiful atmosphere, excellent food, people who seem to value the same type of life that i do,... but something was lacking. the sense of community that i am used to was not there, not permanently. i don´t know why, but it seems that once you stay in a place long enough to start to know the people and their motivations, how they function and what they value in life, this is when i start to realize my differences.
to truly have something special it takes more than good food and a beautiful place, similar ideas, or the pursuit of adventure. the love that i know from the Lord, and that i feel from other people cannot be replaced or mimmicked, cannot be faked or substituted. i feel like this realization is only on the tip of my tongue, and i am starting to taste its bitterness and sweet flavor.
i am well, and blessed to have a companion on this southward journey. Tom is from England, studies in Canada, and has a dry sense of humor that keeps things rolling.
i left about 25 lbs of stuff at the farm, and feels good to be traveling lighter now. i know more of what i need, what i don´t, and what i want to haul around on my back.
thanks for your thoughts and prayers, the Lord continues to pour his grace on me
-joshua
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tranquilo, pues
hola mi amigos y amigas
writing from villa alhue,
I am becoming comfortable here. here at the farm, I understand probably 75% of the spanish, and i find that i don´t have to compose sentences in my head before entering a conversation. dón´t get my wrong, i am far from fluent in this language, but continue to improve. i am aware that when i speak, it is often poorly conjugated and choppy, and i have gained a deep respect for the importance of language and communication.
the farm is one huge ball of blossoming energy, new leaves and colors everyday (actually right now it is damp and cold, yesterday we had the first rain i´ve seen down here), but it is an exciting time, to see the culmination of hard work as fruit forms, vegitables ripen, and the process continues.
i am learning to cook some of the delicous dishes here, little by little, and i made my first batch of bread here yesterday. i can´t speak enough of the food here, and i hope to carry this mentality with me, the mentality of eating good food, of the importance of effort and preparation, and the satisfaction that this brings.
we played soccer with the the local town, Pichi (with under 300 ppl). los lagartos vs the youth of pichi. street ball, anything goes pretty much. 5 vs 5 on a cement court. dreadlocks and pale white legs, out of shape, tin roof siding as walls, and shouting spanish frantically in an attempt to organize. we got whooped 22 to 14, but it was a lot of fun anyway.
i plan to head south at the beginning of november, down towards Santa Juana (small town south of Chillan). close to the coast. we´ll see what happens, what comes my way.
i am aware more and more of the blessings in my life, the people, the places, and the opportunities that i have. also the Lord,s provision continues to amaze me.
thanks for your prayers and thoughts, know that you are in mine too.
-joshua
writing from villa alhue,
I am becoming comfortable here. here at the farm, I understand probably 75% of the spanish, and i find that i don´t have to compose sentences in my head before entering a conversation. dón´t get my wrong, i am far from fluent in this language, but continue to improve. i am aware that when i speak, it is often poorly conjugated and choppy, and i have gained a deep respect for the importance of language and communication.
the farm is one huge ball of blossoming energy, new leaves and colors everyday (actually right now it is damp and cold, yesterday we had the first rain i´ve seen down here), but it is an exciting time, to see the culmination of hard work as fruit forms, vegitables ripen, and the process continues.
i am learning to cook some of the delicous dishes here, little by little, and i made my first batch of bread here yesterday. i can´t speak enough of the food here, and i hope to carry this mentality with me, the mentality of eating good food, of the importance of effort and preparation, and the satisfaction that this brings.
we played soccer with the the local town, Pichi (with under 300 ppl). los lagartos vs the youth of pichi. street ball, anything goes pretty much. 5 vs 5 on a cement court. dreadlocks and pale white legs, out of shape, tin roof siding as walls, and shouting spanish frantically in an attempt to organize. we got whooped 22 to 14, but it was a lot of fun anyway.
i plan to head south at the beginning of november, down towards Santa Juana (small town south of Chillan). close to the coast. we´ll see what happens, what comes my way.
i am aware more and more of the blessings in my life, the people, the places, and the opportunities that i have. also the Lord,s provision continues to amaze me.
thanks for your prayers and thoughts, know that you are in mine too.
-joshua
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Valparaiso
writing from Valparaiso, a beautiful port city on the coast of chile. first time seeing the pacific, looks like water.
my spanish is improving consistently and constantly as i become more confident in my speech and comprehension, able to have extended conversations with those who are patient.
the farm is beautiful as the season is changing from primavera to verano, lots of blossoms and new wild flowers everyday.
making adobe mud for the kitchen we´re building, fun work to mix everything together and then smatter it on the walls. i am learning a lot about simple ways to do things, to build, to eat, to plant. there is more connection to place here, making your own tools and eating the food that you grow. not to sound too cliche, but i am appreciating the process that things take when you invest time and effort into where you are.
thank you for your prayers and thoughts, i am doing very well down here and am adjusting well. it has been quite a process and i have learned to let go of time in a way, can´t count the days, just take them as they come.
my spanish is improving consistently and constantly as i become more confident in my speech and comprehension, able to have extended conversations with those who are patient.
the farm is beautiful as the season is changing from primavera to verano, lots of blossoms and new wild flowers everyday.
making adobe mud for the kitchen we´re building, fun work to mix everything together and then smatter it on the walls. i am learning a lot about simple ways to do things, to build, to eat, to plant. there is more connection to place here, making your own tools and eating the food that you grow. not to sound too cliche, but i am appreciating the process that things take when you invest time and effort into where you are.
thank you for your prayers and thoughts, i am doing very well down here and am adjusting well. it has been quite a process and i have learned to let go of time in a way, can´t count the days, just take them as they come.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
poco a poco
i{ve made it to october. it feels good to have the passing of a month, a feeling of some kind of accomplishment.
i am living in a little house behind the mail house here at the granja. up at 7 before the sun, then a breakfast of fresh bread, avacado, fresh cheese, jams, and carrot tea.
i am eating like a king, the best i{ve ever eaten in my life probably. lunch is the biggest meal, the main meal, and there is always fresh greens for salads, homemade olive oil, lemons from the surrounding orchard, we eat lunch at a table in the orchard, more fresh bread, and a warm main dish that is always delicious. giulia and manuel, the couple who own the farm, are warm and inviting, and don{t hesitate to make fun of my spanish. i have transitioned from a nervous and tentative foreigner, to almost part of the family. i am truly blessed to be in this place. the lord is faithful, and i am seeing tangibly his love for me as i must depend on him.
the work here is good, i am always sore at the end of the day. digging and setting fence posts, making rock walls for terraces, planting and watering plants, collected firewood and madura for the cabana we{re building. we just got two tipis that we will be assembling in addition to other projects.
the farm is 500 hectares nestled in a little valley surrounded by 6000 plus ft high mtns. the sunrise and sunset are gorgeous and tonight is the first full moon. cactus and so many wildflowers highlight the dry grasses. my favorite time of the day is about 5 when the sun is on its way down behind the mtns. the shadows stretch and the breeze blows from the southest, filling me up with the beauty of this place.
i am blessed to have the companionship of other wwoofers, especially my friend Sam. Sam is from Belgium and is quite a guy. we{ve become friends, as he and i are both here for a couple of months and other wwoofers come and go. he is an answer to prayers, as the one thing ive been worried about it loneliness. the lord is good. i think that now that i have to depend on him, i can see him more clearly. this is new for me, trusting that is. trusting because i have to, not because i want to. i don{t really have an option.
i am well, and adjusting to this new step in life. poco a poco, little by little, i am learning and understanding this new language and place. thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. glory to Him who loves us so much!
i am living in a little house behind the mail house here at the granja. up at 7 before the sun, then a breakfast of fresh bread, avacado, fresh cheese, jams, and carrot tea.
i am eating like a king, the best i{ve ever eaten in my life probably. lunch is the biggest meal, the main meal, and there is always fresh greens for salads, homemade olive oil, lemons from the surrounding orchard, we eat lunch at a table in the orchard, more fresh bread, and a warm main dish that is always delicious. giulia and manuel, the couple who own the farm, are warm and inviting, and don{t hesitate to make fun of my spanish. i have transitioned from a nervous and tentative foreigner, to almost part of the family. i am truly blessed to be in this place. the lord is faithful, and i am seeing tangibly his love for me as i must depend on him.
the work here is good, i am always sore at the end of the day. digging and setting fence posts, making rock walls for terraces, planting and watering plants, collected firewood and madura for the cabana we{re building. we just got two tipis that we will be assembling in addition to other projects.
the farm is 500 hectares nestled in a little valley surrounded by 6000 plus ft high mtns. the sunrise and sunset are gorgeous and tonight is the first full moon. cactus and so many wildflowers highlight the dry grasses. my favorite time of the day is about 5 when the sun is on its way down behind the mtns. the shadows stretch and the breeze blows from the southest, filling me up with the beauty of this place.
i am blessed to have the companionship of other wwoofers, especially my friend Sam. Sam is from Belgium and is quite a guy. we{ve become friends, as he and i are both here for a couple of months and other wwoofers come and go. he is an answer to prayers, as the one thing ive been worried about it loneliness. the lord is good. i think that now that i have to depend on him, i can see him more clearly. this is new for me, trusting that is. trusting because i have to, not because i want to. i don{t really have an option.
i am well, and adjusting to this new step in life. poco a poco, little by little, i am learning and understanding this new language and place. thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. glory to Him who loves us so much!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
estoy aqui
this has to be quick because i{m running out of time on my computer.
i{ve made it to Alhue, the small town that is about 10 km from the farm im working on. the past week has been rediculous. lost a bag at the buenos aires airport, 23 hour busride from buenos aires to santiago, thru the andes i might add, and living at the farm for the last five days with only the clothes on my back and a couple of books.
got to santiago yesterday and received my missing bag, grungy hotel that night, now back to the farm! no electricity amidst the magnificence of this granja, surrounded by mountains. 500 hectares of land. building, planting, watering, learning to care for the many animals....
the language is the hardest part for me right now, i am learning slowly but still remain with the understand of a 5 year old, but i can understand a lot from context and the small vocabulary that i am building.
i am well, and blessed to be in this place. thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
more later, joshua
i{ve made it to Alhue, the small town that is about 10 km from the farm im working on. the past week has been rediculous. lost a bag at the buenos aires airport, 23 hour busride from buenos aires to santiago, thru the andes i might add, and living at the farm for the last five days with only the clothes on my back and a couple of books.
got to santiago yesterday and received my missing bag, grungy hotel that night, now back to the farm! no electricity amidst the magnificence of this granja, surrounded by mountains. 500 hectares of land. building, planting, watering, learning to care for the many animals....
the language is the hardest part for me right now, i am learning slowly but still remain with the understand of a 5 year old, but i can understand a lot from context and the small vocabulary that i am building.
i am well, and blessed to be in this place. thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
more later, joshua
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
leaving from Charlotte today. layover in Atlanta, then down to Buenos Aires. 21 hour bus ride to Santiago, then 3 hour bus ride to the village of Alhue, about 30 miles SW of Santiago.
the farm i'll be on has a website: www.loslagartos.org
don't know how often i'll be able to update this blog, maybe every other weekend at best. i'll take it as it comes.
the farm i'll be on has a website: www.loslagartos.org
don't know how often i'll be able to update this blog, maybe every other weekend at best. i'll take it as it comes.
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