tent life, juan, juan and sylvia horseback

greenhouses, beans, neighbor's house and view from front door

Satya and the house of Juan and Sylvia, my second farm

me and tom, national park nalhuelbuta

the pacific and Laraquete

a few pics

greenhouse at the first farm, Valparaiso, a sunset, 2 from Villa Alhue,

back...

well,
i came home.
long story short, after 5 days of different buses and beds i took a plane from buenos aires to atlanta, then to charlotte where i split a rental car with a guy going back to danville virginia. i didn't tell a soul, surprised my parents, sister, friends in boone, victoria.

why did i come back? because i felt it was time, don't really have a better reason than that. i've learned to trust more in myself, my instincts, and i knew about a month ago that i'd be coming home in december. i've been here for almost two weeks, and it has put me on my ass. really.

i struggle to find my place here, to realize and accept that lives have continued to be lived, that change is a constant, and that i now am home without a job and staying in my parent's basement (a blessing to have that option). trying to come home without expectations, and not telling anyone has put me alone, feeling alone, and only a continuation of the foreign feeling that i've had for the past three months.
it is hard. it is good and beautiful to have people who care and love for me, and to feel that too. but damn it is hard and i'm trying to figure out how to create my life. because that is what i have to do, create something that does not have a plan, and i am realizing that quickly.

i know not what the future holds, and now that feeling of freedom that was so liberating is still here with me, but now it feels more like a noose than a collar, and i am able to talk fluidly but still struggle to communicate. i do not doubt the Lords provision because i have known it so obviously, but it is hard, and i've found it is impossible to have faith without doubt.
i am blessed, i know this too.
thanks for all your prayers and thoughts, i don't suppose i'll be updating this too much at least for a while.
love joshua

una ratita en mendoza

hello from mendoza,
here for a stint, changing my visa among other things. it has been a real transition from the farm in the middle of nowhere chile, to the hustle and bustle that accompanies the life of a city.
long busrides and tired legs have found me in a little hostel outside of downtown.

i have had a lot of time to think, as has been the theme of this trip, to think about many things that seem to present themselves traveling. among the most vivid for me right now is the great contrast that i{ve seen and experienced in place and people, from those that live from week to week on a farm, working the land and simply living with what they have, to the competitive consumption that seems to drive this world and rises most evidently in cities. the difference between lifestyle, motivations, choices, opportunities and lack there of, the reason for this difference and my lack of control.
it is humbling, but also empowering to engage my mind and heart, but realize that i am only a person, a stranger seeing this world through the window of my own eyes. i believe that understanding will come intime, but i know not what understanding is.
juan and sylvia spoke much of living consciously. i think there is a lot of truth in their words and lives.
i am well, and enjoying this change of pace and scenery, if only for a bit.
the lord{s faithfulness is rediculous, and i don{t deserve it, but he continues to bless me as i travel from here to there.
hope all is well with you all, you have my love and prayers

joshua